The dark night of the soul is an expression used to describe a period of deep, profound changes that some people will go through in their spiritual journey.

It’s called dark because it usually involves some intense, painful, difficult times. It can actually be traumatic for some people.

I believe it usually happens when you’re not aligned with your life’s purpose. When you’re destined for greater things and you’re not on the right track.

It’s part of one’s spiritual awakening.

Is there a purpose to it?

The dark night of the soul it’s usually life shaking. It shakes you to the deepest level of your soul. You feel hopeless and broken.

Its purpose is to awaken you.

It’s a process of transformation… evolving into a better version of you!

A metamorphosis of you. A time of profound changes to various aspects of your life. A shift in perspective.

Some will call it a rebirth.

How does it start?

Although something may trigger it… most of the times it doesn’t just happen all of a sudden. It usually builds up in time.

You start feeling differently, you get lonelier, you begin to question everything, you start losing your motivation, your inspiration, your life force. You have this emptiness that burns you up inside but you can’t define what it is or how to get rid of it.

Nothing excites you anymore. You are burned out, exhausted and overwhelmed by everything. You start resenting everything. Sometimes you even resent yourself. And in all of this you feel a deeper calling but no idea what it is!

How long does it last?

It depends. Some experience it for a few weeks, a few months while for others it could last 1 year or 10!

How do you overcome it?

One evening while looking outside I saw it started snowing. I was looking at the light poles how the snow was falling and sparkling in the light.

Depending on location and the current in that area the snow was falling differently. In one place the snow was being blown away towards the left. Just a few meters away the snow was falling slowly and peacefully as that area had some shelter from the wind.

Somewhere closer to me it looked like the snowflakes were dancing in circles before falling on the ground.

You see…just how the snow was falling differently based on the location and wind exposure, the same way, the dark night can be experienced differently for each person.

Although most people express feeling similar things for each person it’s different.

Look at it this way…

Your location, your circumstances, state of being, personality, abilities, your coping skills, stress levels, your capacity to understand and evolve, whether you have someone by your side or you’re completely alone are just a few things that can impact your dark night.

And most importantly… the cause and reason of your dark night.

Since it’s different for everyone experiencing it… the way out of it might also be different. What works for one might not work for the other.

What this means is that you have to find out what works for you and your situation.

But no worries… below you’ll find some helpful ways to get through it. All you have to do is try and see what works for you.

Understand What Is Happening

Becoming aware and understanding what you’re going through is one of the most important steps in overcoming the dark night. Is it really the dark night of the soul or something else? Depression, sadness, a bad time?

Often it’s mistaken with depression but, there’s a difference between being depressed and going through the dark night of the soul. The dark night it’s more profound, deeper and you’re being shaken to your core. It usually comes from a spiritual place. It’s part of your spiritual journey and growth.

Does this sound like something you’re going through right now? Think about it.

Can you be depressed and also go through the dark night of the soul?

Yes! Sometimes one leads to the other. For each person it’s different. Spend some time with yourself and try to find out what you are feeling.

Accept It

Ok… this isn’t easy. But it is what it is. Just go with it.

Listen… I know how you feel.

But the more you struggle and fight it the worse it gets. You’re going through it so see how you can deal with it and overcome it. The moment you find out what it is, work with it and not against it.

Read About It

Reading and finding how it was for others will help you understand better what you’re going through and what to expect. Plus you can share your experience with others and support each other.

Spend Time Alone And Sit With Your Emotions

When it comes to emotions most people run away from them. Do the opposite. Embrace them!

See where they come from… what do they say? What do they show you? Try to get to the root of them.

Running away won’t solve anything. It’s like the tooth ache that keeps coming back. No matter what you try you’ll eventually end up at the dentist.

The dark night of the soul also requires some time alone. This is when most people find their answers. Unfortunately some people run away from themselves. They are afraid to be alone mostly because that’s when all those dark thoughts and emotions come to surface and they need to face them.

It might not be easy sitting with yourself.

But look at it from a different perspective. It’s a great way to get to know yourself… the real you, to understand your pain and start healing.

Explore It

The idea is to go through a transformational phase, to let go of some things, learn other things, understand, grow, evolve and become a better version of yourself. Instead of fighting it, choose to explore it. Experiment with it and see what you can learn.

Don’t Get Lost In It

Most people go through a wide, powerful range of emotions during their dark night of the soul.

It’s mostly packed with dark, strong feelings and lots of pain. Feeling meaningless, having no purpose, resenting everything. Feelings of loneliness and isolation. You might feel like God left you.

You basically become disengaged with life.

It can be so overwhelming and powerful that you might get lost in it.

You see no light, you give up trying to find your way out and somehow you get used to it, you get comfortable with that mood, that pain and stay there.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

It’s not easy but if you know how to go through it, it might make things better and speed up your transformation. Embrace the darkness and you might find your gift!

Instead of hiding your pain, running away from it, numbing it or suppressing the pain… sit with it. Find out why is there. What is the cause of it? What triggers it and what does it teach you?

Learn To Let Go

Going through this life transformation requires you to leave the old version of yourself to become the best version of you. To do so you need to let go of what is not aligned with you anymore.

It could be your job, some friends, an old way of thinking or being, habits you need to get rid of, anything that doesn’t fit with your new self.

It requires you to make some deep changes to your life. See what is no longer serving you and make room for new exciting things that better fit your new self.

Be There For Yourself

When you have no one by your side… YOU be by your side! Become your number one supporter. Be your biggest fan. You’ll get through it.

Stop Waiting For Someone Else To Come And Save You

Most of the times no one will come to save you but yourself!

Yes ( if you’re lucky ) people might help, they can be there for you, support you, motivate you, guide you… but they can’t do the work for you! This is your journey. It hurts like hell but pick yourself up!

Listen To Yourself

Believe it or not you have intuition. That voice deep inside that you so hard try to silence but keeps popping again, it knows the way. Check in with yourself to see what it has to say.

Get Involved In Something You Like

Think about your passions, your hobbies. Whatever that might be…dancing, painting, photography, reading, cooking, etc… go do it.

It will give you something to focus on while also socializing or just for some peace of mind. It will lift your spirits up, improve your mood and change your focus on some good things. Allow yourself to be present in the moment and to enjoy it.

Don’t Give Up Or Lose Hope

When you’re in a state of desperation, overwhelmed and without a clue on what to do it’s easy to lose faith and think there’s no way out.

You might think you’re doomed and that’s it!

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Take your time, work with yourself, be patient with yourself, treat yourself with love and understanding like you would treat someone you truly love and care for. Be KIND to yourself.

Talk To Someone

I know this is a hard one to do because most people don’t care about your problems. Then there’s the fear of judgement that you definitely don’t want on top of what you’re going through.

Plus some people just won’t get it, they won’t understand you. Some will think you’re crazy.

Nevertheless… try to reach out. There are still good people out there in the world. Try to find like minded people that you can connect with.

Know that you are not alone and you’re not the only person experiencing a period like this. In real life or online if it helps, find some support groups or forums where you can talk with others.

If you feel the need to talk to a professional do so.

Keep A Journal

Write how you feel… get those feelings out.

Most importantly… be honest with yourself. It could be a powerful practice for your healing journey and self improvement.

Go On A Vacation

Or take a break. Seriously!

While going through the dark night of the soul, disconnecting from your actual environment might be exactly what you need.

If your situation allows you, take some time off or go for a short/long vacation. A change of scenery, seeing new people and places could change your whole mood and perspective.

Meditate

Give it a chance. Try it out and see how it goes. You don’t have to spend hours meditating or do any sophisticated things.  It’s a simple way to get back to yourself. To reduce stress and anxiety, to slow down and even find your answers.

It’s a mind body and spirit connection that has plenty of benefits for your wellbeing and a practice that has been around for so many years.

If you don’t know anything about it, try to learn it. Experiment with it, see how it can help you.

Nature Heals

I don’t know if you’re a nature lover but spending time outside in nature has tons of benefits for your mind, body and soul!

Better mood, better mental health, getting your vitamin D, healthier immune system, better physical health, less anxiety, less stress, better sleep, improved brain functioning, and a happier life are just a few of the amazing positive effects nature has on you.

Do you see how all of these can help you?

You can take it deeper and learn about the importance of living in harmony with nature. Often people going through their spiritual journey will turn to nature. It helps you feel more connected to your true self. Give it a try!

Take Care Of Yourself

While going through the dark night of the soul it’s easy to neglect yourself. The dark night it’s not a punishment although it might seem like that. Even if you don’t see it at the moment, there is a purpose you’re going through it.

Pay attention to your diet, don’t neglect your health. Keep yourself as active as you can by exercising. Pick something you like… running, dancing, going to the gym, home workouts, whatever works for you.

How do you know when you’re out of the dark night?

You’ll know.

One day you’ll wake up and feel differently, you could have an aha moment when all of a sudden everything connects and makes sense for you. And you’ll know it’s over.

Or… as time goes by you’ll begin to understand, realise, things will become clear, you’ll connect the dots and find your way out.

Help and answers can come in various, unexpected ways… a kind word said to you by a stranger, a song… a book you stumble upon.

How long will it take till it ends for you?

I don’t know.

For everyone is different. It depends on you and what you’re facing. For some it ends fast while for others it lasts a really long time.

I hope all of these will help you on your journey.

If you want to share your experience or add some helpful ways to overcome it, please write them in the comment section below. It might help someone.